Miss Castaway and the Island Girls

Ed Grant -- Video Business, 7/5/2005

Color, NR (mature themes), 91 min., DVD only $19.95

DVD: featurette, "A Visit to Neverland Ranch With Michael Jackson," Michael Jackson commercial parody, vintage '80s TV clip

Street: July 26, Prebook: July 12

First Run: Int'l. TV, 2005

Cast: Eric Roberts (Six: The Mark Unleashed), Charlie Schlatter (White Rush), Evan Marriott (TV's Joe Millionaire), Stuart Pankin (Encounter in the Third Dimension), Joyce Giraud, Michael Jackson (Men in Black II)

Director: Bryan Michael Stoller

VANGUARD

Two airplane pilots (Roberts, Schlatter) are stranded on a deserted island with 30 beauty contestants. The castaways face various forms of peril, including a bizarre attempt by humanoid apes to hijack the remnants of the real Noah's Ark. Writer/director Stoller tries Zucker/Abrahams' everything-and-the-kitchen-sink approach in this scattershot farce, which spoofs a range of material from The Planet of the Apes and The Perfect Storm to reality shows and South Park. The result is a hodgepodge of chuckles, groans and some awkwardly dated jokes--the most striking of which concerns a Pope John Paul II look-alike who reveals the Noah's Ark plot line to Schlatter. Stoller has two ace cards working for him though: CG effects that allow for parodies of sci-fi features and guest star Jackson. Resuming his "Agent M" character from the cameo he made in Men in Black II (here he's referred to as "Agent MJ"), Jackson is a floating hologram (introduced by the Pope!) who warns the characters of impending doom. His three appearances on screen might add up to a total of approximately two minutes, but he certainly is the main selling point. Even the making-of featurette spotlights his participation, showing how he was filmed at home in his library. The central supplement is an exclusive visit to Jackson's Neverland Ranch--which certainly beats finding out about the CG effects or how the ape makeup was applied.